Designated Decorator T-Shirts

Citizen offering the Citizens Advice Bureau some advice

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

Use your imagination.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"You're welcome."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

New Coat of Paint at the Sistine Condos

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'