Decoration Designer T-Shirts

"Rough week, Gourdie?"

Santa with a mobile made from presents.

"For some reason they put mannequins of us up every year."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Painting by the numbers for adults

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

Use your imagination.

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"You're welcome."

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Too bright."

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"I hear you've been doing exciting things with eggs and dye."

"Could we be getting a little too museum-quality?"

'We want it painted the colour of money!'

Framed Lady

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .