Desert Survival Humorist Pillows

TapFancy Dress Costume For Snakes

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Just a little seasoning...

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

BARBER

"Nothing like a snow zombie."

"I'm next time I spring for the personal Wi-Fi hotspot..."

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

"This better be high tide."

"OK, now here comes the lava."

"The problem is, you never know if they're ripe until you bite into one."

'Her and her silicone implants!'

Luck

Desert - Steep Hill sign.

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

'P.S. When finding this message please be sure to dispose of the bottle in a bona fide bottle bank.'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'I'll never use that travel agent again!'

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'You go ahead. I just don't feel like drinking this afternoon ...'