Desert Gardener T-Shirts

"Frankly, I think that using precious water to grow flowers is a real waste..."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

Prize vegetables.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

So Close..

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"Well, that's created a little order in a world of chaos."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener attacked by plants.

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Plant Lady

Cat Nip.

Pumpkin patch

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Gardener

Doing the borders.

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"First time pruning?"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

Plants Cheer as They Get Watered.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

Yardless: Please help

I guess she had other plans for you.

Don't mind us. We're just trying to eat more locally grown food.

Rose Garden

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Gardener Cutting Tree into 'Rock' Symbol.