Derby Devotees Pillows

'I won that in a demolition derby.'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"Skate or die."

"...And don't give me that 'I hope his precious little Blackhawks lose' look either!"

Valentino Rossi (the Doctor)

A tessellation of running figures.

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Hey Kevin! Care to enter the office football pool!"

'Why did he cut the chicane - the giant spider isn't on the track, he's on our screen.'

"Pistols at dawn?"

Dun Decking

Champagne speaking to lobster about going to the Derby

Nothing was going to shake Bill from his seat during the cup final.

Greville Starkey

"He only dances to The Dubliners."

Fast food

"My word! I do believe that your hat is eating mine!!"

Football Husband

IRS AUDIT DEPARTMENT, 'It's a bet -- if I don't take the next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

Dogs Awaiting the Arrival of Father Christmas

What the hell did he do?

Tortoise being tested for performance enhancing drugs.

'How's my driving?'

I heart my cat. I spayed my cat.

'There it goes, there it goes, there it goes...'

"Thanks, Chuck, I admire your NASCARness also."

The Finish Line

Man struggling to remember how he got home the morning after the derby

Pompous horse rider pt. 2

'This should be interesting.'

'When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high...'

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

'Bernie, you'd better get over here in the next half-hour or so ... They've entered the stretch.'

Bumper stickers in the Demolition Derby.

On the Derby Day