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'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Profit

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

"Fantastic presentation! All of the investors loved it."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Wall Street Couch

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

'If only I'd spent as much time on my investment portfolio as I did on my lolly mix when I was a kid.'

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'Stocks were up on news that no performance enhancing drugs were used to achieve today's highs. . .'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

Men on escalators reading newspapers, shares are going up on the up escalator and down on the down escalator.

"Did you hear that that bastard McMinney has buggered of to work for Bank of America!"

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'Why do you want a career in the bank?'

'Stocks rose on the rumor that the market is mostly rumor-driven.'

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