Deodorant Debunker Gifts

"It's a wheeble or some such thing, but still no sign of a deoderant."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

'He's so hip he even used rock 'n roll-on deodorant.'

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

"In science class, we learned that a solar eclipse is not due to a rolling blackout."

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'My first drink since my accident.'

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

"These grapes are a bit funny."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

'Don't believe everything you read.'

'Never trust a sommelier with a 750ml tastevin.'

Puppy puts deodorant on the slippers.

'The boss finally noticed me today. He said I should wear deodrant.'

Obese guy looking a shelf labelled 'Free Fat Food'.

'Today stocks bounced back on the news the rumor was false that google considered merging with NSA.'

Kali using underarm deoderant spray.

"More wine?"

The Problem

"My mom said I can't come here anymore." "What? Why not, Billy?" "She said she sends me here to get hot chocolate, not to get bad relationship advice." "What 'bad' advice? All my advice is solid gold." "You told me to call the IRS with an anonymous tip about Andrea Wheaton's father avoiding taxes, so next time he tells her I'm a bad influence he'll look like a hypocrite." "That didn't work?"

'Our product testers aren't meant to be used that way, Sir.'

"I don't think much of this new deodorant"

"I think you can safely remove that now."

'It's just a rumour that Johnny Spaleki's playing under an injury cloud.'

Strong spray deodorant rips a mans arm off, whilst advising "Don't damage ozone layer"

"Fasting means you stop eating. It doesn't mean to eat your food faster."

"Stop, Frank! That's not deodorant!"

'Like most diets you can eat as much as you like of food you can't stand!'

Excuse me. I have the most important announcement of my life. A scientific study shows that women who cut down on fat don't necessarily reduce their chances of heart attack or cancer. Thus I have a new two-pronged life strategy. Prong one: Eat as many french fries as I possibly can. Prong two: Remind the men in my life that the study only applies to women. Give me your fries or perish!!! I hate science. What if I wear a dress?

'Henderson, I have it from a reliable source that the sky is falling - SELL!'

The Unreachable Toilet Roll

Acme Deodorant.