Dentist-dodger Pillows

'I told him you were an ice cream vendor. You take it from here.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

The tooth fairy.

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

'Nigel, what have I told you about bringing your work home with you?'

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Toothbrush Romance

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'What happend? I thought you went to the dentist for a cleaning.'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."