Dentist-dodger Pillows

'I told him you were an ice cream vendor. You take it from here.'

"Whales eat billions of tiny shrimp-like creatures called krill. The krill are free but whales spend a fortune on dental floss."

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

The tooth fairy.

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

"I did the best dental health poster in the class. I just hope Mr. Tooth Decay doesn't hold a grudge."

'I'm not happy with his latest school photo.'

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

'When you said you had an investment in gold, you didn't mention it was in your teeth!'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'It's the same everywhere: body over brains.'

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

Oct. 1982: Researchers attempt an ill-fated procedure in great white shark oral hygiene.

No Cavity Club/No New Gum Receding Club

"I'd like to change my major from dental to mental."

"Really? You can make me look younger!"

Toothbrush Romance

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"Why can't you just learn to floss like other men?"

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

Good Dentist ~ Bad Dentist

Love conquers all, except plaque.

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."