Dental Dodger Pillows

'Yeah I opted out of the dental plan too.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

'So, who's first?'

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Kicking The Habit

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Now just open wide and relax. Uncle Fred has told me he has a way to fix your braces faster and cheaper than that overpriced orthodontist."

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'