Dental Dodger Pillows

'Yeah I opted out of the dental plan too.'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Dr, Wagner's dental floss spider web made going to the dentist much more appealing to kids,

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Nun Binning the Devil

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

Hear me, Graduates!

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

It's an I-O-Ewe.

Updated Proverbs. We come into the world with nothing. And leave deeply in debt!

'So, who's first?'

A genie helps a man fold laundry.

Kicking The Habit

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

And your repayment period starts...Now!

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

You've been extending Randy credit to buy food and drinks? You've no right! That's thousands of dollars. Have you any idea what that … Armstrong? Defibrillator. C'mon, really. It's not that bad. Okay, fine, make a show of it. Defibrillator! And a coroner.

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

Tonight's Lecture: Your share of the national debt. That explains my credit rating.