Dental Bill Dodger Pillows

"The dental procedure will cost a couple of thousand. But keep in mind we do include a free toothbrush."

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Nun Binning the Devil

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

Kicking The Habit

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'So, who's first?'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

And your repayment period starts...Now!

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'

Cashflow - The milkman is here.

'Can you give me a few minutes, Waiter? I can't run on a full stomach.'

"What comes after trillions...?"

Student Loan Shark