Dental Satire Fan Gifts

'Open wide.' 'Your wallet.'

"Pollyanna, your teeth are shot. Stop sugar coating everything!"

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

"FYI that the novocaine will numb the pain caused by the drill but won’t help with the pain caused by the overhead adult contemporary music."

"And there we have it, gentlemen! The first full face transplant swap of twins."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

I see braces in his future.

'I'm worried: He doesn't have buckteeth...'

'Mind that molar, careful of that canine...'

"Don't worry, I've performed this procedure hundreds of times."

"I had them sharpened so I can eat cows."

'Stop! Wait 'til he finishes cleaning my teeth!'

"You've been grinding your fangs."

Dentist in ashes - 'Have you been eating garlic?'

Dentist Speak - Monologues

'I need to reset his internal clock...does anyone have the correct time?'

"Remove your shoes and socks. We ran out of laughing gas"

Dentist Suction

"It's teeth whitening."

Dr. Morton believed he had found a less upsetting way to give his patients Novocain shots.

"And then I said 'Don't worry, this is perfectly safe!' Ha, ha!"

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"Thanks, Doc- you've put me back in business."

Dentist: We drill/Fill/Bill.

F&E Dentistry. Happy Halloween. That pumpkin doesn't have any teeth! He never brushed --- It's a plaque-o-lantern.

Open Wide The Dentist's View.

"The operation was a huge success, Mr. Smith, but we're going to have to open you up again - we appear to have lost a nurse."

"Needs ketchup."

Licensed to drill.

'Two cavities, that's not so bad. But I only have three teeth'

'Trust me, it's the only way if you want your insurance to cover it.'

"Of course, I would suggest a shot of novacaine."

"You're not a gift horse, are you?"