Denial Diplomat Pillows

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

"So what if your brother called you a 'lesbo? There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian... ...No, I'm not saying you are a lesbian... ...Don't threaten to beat me up!... See? This is why people think you are a lesbian!"

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

'LIAR!'

Good duck, bad duck.

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

Everyone likes to feel appreciated.

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.

Tariffs on Canada

Reality, and lots of it!

'My teacher has nerves of steel, but that's not strong enough.'

"I can speak with Billy now, Susan. While I'm thinking about it... order me another file cabinet."

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

"I'm rooted in humanism but today was a rough day so for a little extra support in managing my class, I put on my intimidating face."

Franco-Russian Alliance, 1891

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"

"Can you put it on pause for a moment, Eric? I'd like to get a word in edgeways."

"Ok, if I make this one, you have to stop hitting on my wife."