Denial Diplomat Pillows

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"How come you always take Amnesty International's side?"

'We consult those with whom we agree, which is why I rarely consult my conscience.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Your ambiguities are impeccable, young man - just what our department needs.'

"Legal and accounting were O.K. with it, but I had trouble getting it past archery."

"I can't hold it together much longer. . . If Bradley doesn't wipe that smug, self-satisfied smirk off his face soon, I swear I'll kill him."

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Excess Baggage: If you can draw, you don't have to know the local language.

'They aren't shy about cutting you out of the decision making process.'

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

"So what if your brother called you a 'lesbo? There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian... ...No, I'm not saying you are a lesbian... ...Don't threaten to beat me up!... See? This is why people think you are a lesbian!"

'LIAR!'

Good duck, bad duck.

'Shall we talk about your unacceptable behavior or shall we go directly to the penalty phase?'

The free and sovereign republic of the ninth floor.

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

Dennis Rodman: Basketball Player, Statesman, Peacemaker.

Reality, and lots of it!

Tariffs on Canada

It's time again for my 'State-of-the-family' address.

Everyone likes to feel appreciated.

'My teacher has nerves of steel, but that's not strong enough.'

'If I can't put her out of her misery, at least I can put myself out of mine.'

"I can speak with Billy now, Susan. While I'm thinking about it... order me another file cabinet."

"... and bless the UPS driver, who endures my instinctive barks, growls, yelps and yips."

"I'm rooted in humanism but today was a rough day so for a little extra support in managing my class, I put on my intimidating face."

Franco-Russian Alliance, 1891

"Ok, if I make this one, you have to stop hitting on my wife."

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"