Denial Detective Gifts

"I don't care how many sets of bathroom scales I've returned to you. This one's defective too!"

"Oh, please. Lord, no ... I'm only 50! No, please – anything but reading glasses!"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Rumors, lies and innuendo.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

"It's a setup."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"See...polystyrene!"

"You arrive early, You work hard, You stay focused. What's your game?"

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

"They're not home.."

It isn't just the media that's biased...often the voters are too.

"It seems all doctors agree with you, but I'd still like to get a 15th opinion."

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

"Wow, at last! Somebody who's really ill."

'I asked you for one good reason why I should follow your advice, not six.'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'