Denial Debugger Gifts

"He's running late this morning. He unexpectedly snapped out of denial."

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Shrewsbury - pronunciation

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Scouse For Beginners

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"I detect an accent – money?"

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"Dogs can detect cancer, and mice can detect tuberculosis."

Cowboy on horse sees diretion sign for 'thataway'.

'LIAR!'

''Pop'? In my part of the country they're called a 'Soda-Tart'.'

'Well you can tell Dr. Zimler that you don't have Dalnik's syndrome, and, in fact, I think you have Zimler's syndrome.'

"You fix it by buying a new one."

'My course covers all the dead languages.'

Joe's Weight Gain: 'Dang it! My pants must've shrunk in the dryer. . . Ok. . . who's responsible for shrinking all of my slacks?!!'

"It appears the pain is caused by your acupuncture treatments."

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

'Birmingham AY to ZEE'

'Double or nothing on the second opinion, Doc?'

'Let's see what the ol' ticker tape' says.'

'I told you to go and SIT in the corner!'

Reality, and lots of it!

Well, the car's computer say it's YOU who won't start, runs rough, and back fires on acceleration.

"Your knee-jerk reactions seem to be working just fine."

The 42nd annual City marathon (a guy in a car waiting for the start).

"Your psychosis is so original, that we're still brainstorming about a good name for it!"

"Do you think it might be Welsh?"

Your kitchen should get its act together. This is Manhattan clam chowder, and yet the fly in this soup has a New England accent.

Comments: The All-Comments Magazine