Demonic Tale Appreciator Pillows

"You'll have to excuse my date. He spontaneously combusts from time to time."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'Don't worry it's organic...'

Sir Lancelot finds the Holy Quail

"But honey. . . he's just not our kind!"

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Once upon a time and a half. William Tell shot an apple on his son's head. Plink! Nice shot, Dad! Plunk!

Alice Through the Looking Glass - The Walrus and Carpenter.

"He's an asylum seeker."

Elvis going to the 'House of 1/4 pounders near the 'House of gingerbread'

'I have done something about Lady Godiva - I got her to wear a garter belt and hose didn't I?'

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

William Tell (alternate)

Tosca discovers Mario Cavaradossi is stabbed

"The fish gets bigger every time he tells the story."

"Looks like the end of civilization as they know it."

Cutting Down Trees to Build the Ark

Eight medieval characters from the Canterbury Tales.

Babies come from a heart shape.

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll leave you to it."

"Bye! Have a nice day....and make the most of it."

'Don't rush me. I can't be everywhere at once.'

REmember, no cracks about "only the good die young" around Methuselah.

"If you kiss me I turn into a prince and if you lick him, well, you can’t really be hallucinating more than you are already."

',,,,,and make it snappy'

'Give up smoking? Why?'

St. Patrick chases snakes from Ireland.

I can't believe he made me climb all the way up here just to save on shipping.

'Size matters on the Podium.'

Can't that dating service ever get it right?

'This is a test of the emergency broadcast system. This only a test.'

'They say he was a bit cracked anyway.'

Satan relaxes at home with the Hounds of Hell and Ted, his favorite image/media consultant.

'The bus driver makes your stomach upset? Tell me about it ... he's my husband.'

"It's best to let sleeping dogs lie"