Delusion Diver Gifts

"I had a wonderful dream that Anonymous turned out to be me."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'The Questioner'

Undignified Exits of the Planet World: Geronimo!

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

"Dad, Dad, cage divers! Get the hacksaw and let's scare the heck out of them!"

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Hurry up Dad, I need the loo!"

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"Gotta cut back on my binge thinking."

"The cultural appropriation is annoying but the herring is delicious."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'I keep having this recurring nightmare, that when I get back from walking in the woods my porridge is too cold.'

Question Mark

Angst - Zeitgeist.

"It seems to me you may be experiencing some form of low-level depression."

Divers attache BITE ME sign to companion's oxygen tanks.

'I will only need to talk to you in order to contradict what you've said.'

'It just makes it seem more interesting.'

George flew like an eagle, but landed like a limpet.

"Welcome to tonight's panel on interfaith humour."

We made great progress today, but I think we need a few more sessions.

"The only problem I have with my belief system is that I always believe it."

'I propose we trade services - you cure me of my delusions and I'll protect your navy.'

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

Man reinacts diving entry into the sea.

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer.

Bird Diving Board.

' I hope this adds a little enjoyment for you. '

Jello in the diving pool.

'Hi, Mum- I'm on board.'

Lair Freshner

'Amazing! 140 decibels as he hits the surface! That puts him easily into first!'