Deli Chuckler T-Shirts

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

Deliboys

World of Cow.

'Fancy a swift half?'

"Year after year we sit here quietly raising eyebrows, son."

'I'm referring you to a specialist who isn't as afraid to die as I am.'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Frozen Food - Pick Your Own

Have you heard of a celebrity roast, Lance? The closest I ever came to a celebrity roast was the time I had a roast beef in a deli and Henny Youngman walked in.

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

"Sounds like a lot of 'EIEIO' to me!"

"It's weeder's elbow."

'You want a second opinion? -- Oh, a big shot, eh?'

"Isn't this just a repeat of his 1332 Christmas special."

'My client pleads not guilty, Your Honor, on the grounds that it's so hard to find decent role models these days.'

Erm...what the hell is cud, anyway?

'It's bad news I'm afraid,we're asprins'

"It's all very well being healed, but that mobility scooter cost a fortune."

"What's for dinner, Madge? I'll be home soon."

'They've been hitting the blocking sled three times as hard since I put up that bust of that nut-job business teacher, Mrs. Sisk.'

"Gwen, call the employment agency back, please, we just created our first 3-D employee!"

Yoga - moooooooo.

"This is Plan A. I recommend we skip it and get right on to Plan B."

"I'm just saying it's not very mysterious."

"Let go and let Gary."

'Curses on historical perspective.'

'Hey - I was in line first! There you go again...messing up the pecking order!'

What your acoustic guitar says about you

'Unexpected item in bagging area!'

'I'm going to have to scan, it could take a while.'

A rump of butchers

'Yo, you in the middle. Roast beef, right?'

Posh Deli - Fois gras, caviar, animal feed.