Delegate Master Gifts

"If you want something done give it to a busy man."

"THIS looks like a job for ... somebody else."

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

"What's a debenture?"

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'

God's Subcontractors

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

"Do you think that will count as our 'Fifteen minutes of fame'?"

'I want to discuss communication clarity.'

"Never do today what someone else can do tomorrow."

We called this meeting to decide your torture, Mr. Jones. Then we realized we could kill two birds with one stone by making this meeting eternal.

"Give a man a job, and he'll work all day. Teach a man to delegate, and he'll take the rest of the day off."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"In response to your request for better communications, I'm going to increase my lengthy explanation by 50%."

Oh sure, unload it on me to do it/Out.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

Desk trays: The Good - The Bad - The Ugly

'Ah, Williams, are you familiar with the term ‘Poisoned Chalice'?'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"Just look what we can accomplish when we work towards a common goal...LUNCH!"

"Agenda item 14 C, does anyone have any idea what happened in Game of Thrones?"

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Anonymous Donations

"I excel at appearing awake in meetings."

"One day she'll be a wonderful architect."

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"The result of our last meeting are impressive: 3 completely solved crossword puzzles, 7 battleship matches, 5 shopping lists, and 26 really funny doodles."

'And this is where we all suddenly started getting bad vibes.'

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'