Delectable Matchmaker Gifts

"Red with meant, white with fish. . . but it all goes great with chocolate!"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

Pucker up!

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

'Okay, this time we'll try for someone with a really good sense of humour.'

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

Romance Music

'Mandy is playing cupid again!'

Witch in bed reading: 'The Joy of Hex'.

"This next arrow should shake things up a bit!"

"Carl! Carl! He's telling the truth! He's married. The single guy lives next door."

"Having a dog is great for meeting more dogs."

A dog cupid flies an arrow after a dog jumping on a random man's leg.

"I'm steelbuns 1995, you must be teen angle 1999."

The Adventures of Morton :This has been my best first date ever...Sooo, what about our plans for the future? YOu know, marriage, kids?...Tell me if I move too fast, okay?

"This is Stan, my latest project."

Soulmates.

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'How about a nice fixer-upper?'

'I think I made A Major mistake.'

'You've been matched with a pub in Wigan' (to a man at a dating agency).

"I've found my soul mate!"

"Here we match people by their hatreds. It's a much stronger bond."

'I always give the shy guys a 'booster shot'.'

'Do I know you?'