Matchmaker Extraordinaire Gifts

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"This is Stan, my latest project."

"If he were just 8 inches taller, 20 years younger,10 times more mature and a million dollars richer, he'd be perfect."

"Carl! Carl! He's telling the truth! He's married. The single guy lives next door."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Asking out a palm reader.

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"I did warn you. Mum can take her time warming to a new boyfriend."

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Sidekick speed matching service.

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

Cupid's converge on a bachelor.

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

"I'm sure you will be very happy together."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."