Degree Holders Gifts

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

National Academy of Sport

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Day one, post grad

Meet the author

Summa cum latte.

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

Graduation Creation of Adam

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a reason for you to live, Al. I blame it on the fact that I got my medical degree from Trump University.

'Times have changed. Now you need a degree just to end up living in your parents' basement.'

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

"This is all going into my thesis."

"You put PhD on birth certificate?!" "It's never to early to give em an advantage."

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Did you know that people with four-year degrees earn twice as much as people with high school degrees?"

Graduation.

Actually, College Tuition Does Pay

WHEW!

Glad-You-Ation