Degree Holders Gifts

'An MBA from Harvard is quite impressive. But you'll still have to start off at the bottom here. You start serving coffee in the cafeteria on Monday.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

National Academy of Sport

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Meet the author

Day one, post grad

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

MBA, PhD £100,000 student loan. Please Help.

"Sorry, but you need at least a Masters to get into the Deep Woods."

'Gee, maybe there was something wrong with this college.'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Turning with mathematical precision.

'And a second degree in Australian studies.'

'Mrs. Wayne was so excited about getting her masters in physical science, she took a quantum leap!'

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

"This is all going into my thesis."

'Times have changed. Now you need a degree just to end up living in your parents' basement.'

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

"You put PhD on birth certificate?!" "It's never to early to give em an advantage."

"Did you know that people with four-year degrees earn twice as much as people with high school degrees?"

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

WHEW!

"I just finished high school and college online. Now can I play my video game?"

Graduation.

"He finally paid off his student loans."