Defensive Player Pillows

'These military teams really take their defence seriously...!'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

Football player taking the ball home.

Science Snobs

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

Looks like Charlie owns Park Place now. Dogopoly.

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"You're a really sore loser, you know that!"

Rugby Mad.

'Big advantage!!'

"This is what happens when we don't practice social distancing."

Rock, paper, scissors

'I've got a good idea to improve the team.'

"Five ball in the corner pocket." "Me in the side pocket!"

'With all the cars being stolen these days, I went out and bought the strongest security system I could afford.'

Jennifer Felt Perfectly Safe Walking Through the Park at Night with Her Handy Cast-Iron Baguette.

How was my emergency stop?

Golfer kicking ball out of bush.

"How do you respond to critics who say you only play the backcourt?"

"Tech savvy? o. Is there any call for regular savvy?"

Sorry, coach. My mom says the other football pants are "too revealing."

'And please take into account that my client was acting upon a double-dog-dare.'

'Blake Construction lost $500,000 on the Fenton Job. Thank God they underbid us by $100.'

Boxer Scarecrow Fends of the Crows.

"I think Jennifer Lopez gets a bad rap. She's a smart, ambitious woman who works hard, respects her roots, and follows her heart! She deserves all her fame and glory!"

"Are there people who don't live in London?"

"It's road kill."

"I'm not cheating, I'm game-changing."

'It's amazing what they throw away: a tracksuit, a dozen oranges and another 2-0 lead.'

'Get this straight, I'm a guard dog: I don't fetch the newspaper!'

'And what makes you think you're good enough for the darts team?'

I still think the anti-personnel mines are a bit over the top.

Cricketers discussing leg before wicket

'I certainly don't get tailgated anymore!'

'Careful, Larry. He gets pretty upset if you trap him in a corner pocket.'