Defense Mechanism Debater Gifts

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

The Jose Padilla Experience

'You present a very convincing argument.'

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

The only Universal Truths that all religions agree upon.

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

John Newman

Citizens' Jury - 'The jury thinks you should get rid of Citizens' Juries.'

Bush vs. America

Frank and Ernest's Cerebral Questions. Today's question is would an "elbowhead" be smarter or dumber than a "knucklehead"? (Published originally on October 12, 2015.)

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

"But I don't want my constituents to vote for the most qualified candidate! I want them to vote for me!"

Donald Rumsfeld

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

Useful vs. Wasteful Spending . . . Arts Programs and Missile Defense Programs.

Soldier trying to catch bomb with a cushion

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"

Biolab. No, this is a good thing. Antibodies are not bullies going out and looking to pick a fight.

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

"So apart from stop being 'lying hypocritical uncaring bastards who'd promise anything to get back in power'...is there anything else we might do to secure your vote?"

Psychiatry. I'm starting to take it personally when people say we have a representative government.

Professor Malinowski Failed to Impress His Audience with his Small Bang Theory.

"I can't remember. Are we for or against cloning?"

"So ... is the Pope Catholic?"

"It's important to remember my son; without evil, we would all be out of a job."

Poll. If the election was being held today, where would you hide?

Why America Is the Best Democracy in the World

Even a Broken Democracy

"There's and awful lot of anger there."