Defense Attorneys T-Shirts

"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. After that, law school was pretty much a given."

"So, before passing judgment, please consider that science now shows that the male brain is not fully developed until never."

"My clients object to the term 'hit men.' They like to think of themselves as a well-regulated militia."

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

'My client stands before you, a jury of his whittling peers ...'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Do you want to pretend to be a doctor and I'll pretend to be a hotshot civil litigation attorney who sues you till your ears bleed?"

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

'If corporate lawyers are a dime a dozen, where are the other ten?'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

I love Lawyers

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Judgement Day: Division Four"