Defender Of The Realm Pillows

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

'Of course, now that we have turf, we'll need someone to protect it.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

How did THAT get there? Wash me.

"I can see our house from here."

Nuclear waste.

Fighting the Zika Virus

Planning for flooding - 'Well, we'll cross that bridge when come to it.'

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

'But we spend all our money creating toxic waste. We were hoping someone else would figure out how to detoxify it.'

Evolution.

'You have the right to remain silent and to the counsel of a motivational speaker.'

'I've been charged with evading jury duty.'

"My client will not answer that question as it presupposes his sanity."

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

"You're going to have to repeat the class for the third time because you miss so much during your Friday strikes...What's going to become of you?"

"First, they take my domain, then they take my domain name."

COP26 GLASGOW

Ebola reaches USA.

The UN Forest. . . after its latest 3000 page climate report is released.

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'A bit of shush please, I'm about to write them a damn stiff memo!'

"The genius of the justice system for us is that everyone has the right to a lawyer."

Fish with Shield

"They sent their geeks! Drop your swords and grab your computers! It's a cyber attack!"

"The government is going to fight climate change by rearranging the deckchairs on the iceberg."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth - but not the oil and mineral rights.'

"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."

"Batteries for environmentally friendly electric cars. . ."

Save The Planet! No Plastic Bags!

"Bad news - your DNA was delicious."

"Normally, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. These closing arguments would be filled with impassioned pleading, determined advocacy and a certain amount of histrionics, but this is a pro bono case."