Courtroom Defender Pillows

"Careful!—she'll become enraged if she senses the slightest threat to her clients."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

Planet of the Lawyers

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

Free speech isn't cheap!

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"We make crime pay."

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

Domestic Spying Drones

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'