Courtroom Defender Mugs

"Careful!—she'll become enraged if she senses the slightest threat to her clients."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

I love Lawyers

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Junior barrister prompting a deaf and testy chief

Planet of the Lawyers

Free speech isn't cheap!

"I object!" "Overruled!"

"We make crime pay."

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"The prosecution shall stop referring to the defendant as 'the alleged, totally guilty as sin guy'."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"At least he's honest about it..."

Domestic Spying Drones

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

'Every day, I'm suing better and better...'