Decoration Deviant Pillows

'Look at the adorable garden gnome I bought today!!'

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

Food inspection results

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

You can never over garnish!

'Oops. I set my auto pilot to go to Saratoga ... New York.'

"It may not be the hardwood floor we were hoping for, but it's SO much better than that hideous carpeting!"

"I always knew that they would get tired of eating grass someday."

Man digging real grave for Halloween.

There's nothing like a bit of bunting to draw you in!

"No I've changed my mind again, it looked better over there."

"Well I hope this one lasts longer than last year's."

'I hear one more person say 'my bad'. I'll wring their neck!'

"No smoking, except in designated Fire and Brimstone areas."

"The reconstructive surgery went smoothly but I still get terrible headaches!"

Corona virus Christmas tree

'One day we're all spooking and cool...and just like that, we're out on the curb.'

'Congratulations are in order again! You've used up more electricity than anybody else in the system!'

Employee Of The Month

"I was just wondering, Mr. Parker, when you planned to come by and pick up Mrs. Parker?"

Deck the Halls!

"Sure, it will be an eyesore, but after we build a lot of them, it'll fit right in!"

Santa turns on a light and the Xmas tree catches fire says 'On no!'

"You gotta admit, it's straight now."

"It's all a misunderstanding, your Honor. My client just went a little over-the-top with his Christmas decorating due to a neighborhood contest."

"Better make him an offer he can't refuse."

"He says he needs somewhere hotter to work from."