Decision-making Pundit Gifts

Al, you know how a lot of people in Britain regretted their decision to leave the European Union? I was just wondering if you ever regretted your decision to leave the human race.

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Hate Platforms

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

In the Guru District

They're Not Just That Into It

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

CEO du Jour

Difference of Opinion

"We're suing you under equal opportunities legislation for failure to represent our rights"

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'You know the economy's in trouble when the Forbes 400 list of wealthiest Americans only has 350 names on it.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Mom, I'm bored. Do you know something I can get hysterical and panicky about?"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Where does it all end up?

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

Obama Healthcare.

'I'm sorry. It looks like your insurance company doesn't cover pre-existing life.'

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'It's cheaper than gas.'