Deciding On Children Pillows

"I've been crunching the numbers, and I don't think we've saved enough sleep to have children."

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

Mother Goose Timeshare

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'But Father, I don't want to study space time temporal theories in relation to collapsing pulsars, I want to do my own thing!'

'Of course he didn't believe the stork story. Try telling him we made him with a 3D printer.'

"At least she's reading."

"You're fatigued, run down, anxious, with high blood pressure, back ache, and a general malaise. You've got kids."

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Act your birth order!"

Why you must go to work

"Really? 'Yeller'? That's what you want to name him?"

"I changed my mind – no more kids."

"Given the high cost of raising kids, we opted instead to be childless billionaires."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"Life’s become pretty easy lately. Perhaps it’s time we shake things up by adding a dependent."

"I know I shouldn't let them have so much screen time, but how else am I supposed o get anything done?"

Responsibility

LOVENUTS: When asked her opinion on the subject, Didi simply gives a rueful smile.

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

"Good news. Your child buys into the change paradigm of growing up."

"Can Ethan come out to swipe and scroll?"

Our Summer Fantasy

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

Bad, Bad Boy!

Wet Wipes: My Guilty Secret

"With the world such a crazy mess, Condy and I decided we don't want children."

"I thought we agreed not to fight in front of the children."

"I agree, it's a real worry. We may have to consider limiting her screen time."