Having Kids Pillows

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

Our Summer Fantasy

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Why can't they read in bed like other parents?"

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

'Like death by salad.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

'She's just great with the children.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

celebrating a birth.

'I'm not too sure about that.'

Men explained.

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

Grounded