Having Kids Pillows

'Whoever said practice makes perfect never had kids with drum sets.'

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

Our Summer Fantasy

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

"Why can't they read in bed like other parents?"

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

'OK, now let's be careful out there.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

'Will you pipe down? I'm in a business meeting.'

'Like death by salad.'

'Don't look at me. I'm not the one who puts the measuring cups where I can't reach them.'

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

'She's just great with the children.'

'He made an excellent jelly.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"It's so nice to finally put a face to the name."

We tried rocking her to sleep, but she still seems tired and cranky.

'Mom, don't you understand? Those collars are symbols of subservience and repression!'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

Mr. & Mrs. Stickfigure are expecting twins.

Whoa

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

celebrating a birth.