Deceptive Charmer T-Shirts

"Thank you for saving me, Mr. Nice Man! I almost drowned! You're so good-looking and noble and strong! I can't believe how you fought off that shark!"

Showbiz Awards

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Next time, dear, ask me first before you invite a friend over for dinner."

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

Gardener of the Year.

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

Yes, you are speaking to Grandma.

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Yeah yeah, nice, but how many online followers do you have?"

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

Snake Charmer

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Rats drawn to Facebook instead of Pied Piper.

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'Mismatched Mantras'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

"You had me at hell."

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"

"The nice thing about being a fruit fly is you only have to listen to one news cycle."

"Feel free to ask me anything, dear - I'm an open book."

"With a name like Barney Stone, I do real well with the ladies on Valentine's day."

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

How To Make Numbers Lie. . .

'I'm not very good at chatting up beautiful women so I'm trying my hand with ordinary ones.'

Hunger mood warning system: Women vs. Men

Colin realised that the date was not going as well as he had hoped.