Silly Charmer T-Shirts

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

Showbiz Awards

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

"Check out this new store."

Slug Bait- snails love it

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

'Do you come here often?'

Hellbillies.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

Ice skating

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

Snake Charmer

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'I adore a man of many parts.'

Guitars

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

"Let me tell you Belinda. . . you certainly don't belong on the beginner's slope."

Alexa and Siri girl talk.

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"