Silly Charmer T-Shirts

"You'll love Alex. He's got a lovely sense of humour."

Showbiz Awards

Peter Pan, the Utensil that Never Grew Up

"Might I suggest something wicked for dessert?"

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Check out this new store."

Slug Bait- snails love it

'Do you come here often?'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

Hellbillies.

A guy tries his luck at the water cooler.

I conduct comprehensive surveys - I ask my girlfriend.

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Ralph has lots of animal magnetism.

Ice skating

'I'm not sure I want to see you again, but just in case, I've backed you up on a flash drive.'

'I will now play a selection of digital audio files I downloaded today.'

"Warm and rich, fresh and bright, with depth and intensity. Not the wine, you."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

"C major 7, F major 7. . . and that's been the story of my life."

"Watch out for Bernie...he's a man of few words but a lot of gestures."

'I adore a man of many parts.'

'Do you have anything that smells like wedding bells?'

'You know how they say, no matter how bad you got it, there's always someone worse off? Well I'm that someone.'

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

Snake Charmer

Guitars

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'I never know what to do with my hooves at a party.'

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"

"What do I bring to the company? I'm relentlessly cheerful and able to handle pressure."

'Keep in mind I'm beautiful on the inside.'

"Let me tell you Belinda. . . you certainly don't belong on the beginner's slope."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'