Sarcastic Charmer T-Shirts

"I thought you said his name was Mr Know-it-all?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

Exciting potato bugs.

Redhead

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"Well, here he is. He just grew on me until I couldn't stand it anymore."

"I don't want to insult your intelligence - I imagine that happens enough as it is."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

'Where's the petty cash?'... 'It's in the box marked Pension Fund.'

'My phone number, Social Security number and Zip Code, just to buy gum? They didn't ask me that many questions when I joined the army.'

'Don't give up hope, Senator- We've worked out a plan to decrease your name recognition.'

"I work smart, instead of hard. You do all the work and I take all the credit."

'He lost his whistle,'

'It looks like blood, tastes like Ribena, I just hope it gets me drunk,'

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

"Whoes jumping? My secretary enforces a strict 'No Smoking' policy"

"Just say the word and I'll love you."

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

The canteen food's pretty awful...

Home Sweet Mortgage (worth more than the house).

"You were always my favorite to guilt-trip."

"I'm not sure what to watch...'Enterprise' or 'Sabado Gigante.'"

'Since this is my first time in court, I wonder if it would be all right if my attorney got a couple of shots of me lying under oath.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Send them in for their Christmas bonuses."

"One of his employees won the lottery!"

"I admit - as papercuts go it's quite a serious one."

'Police! Snow White we have complaints about your relationship with 'Grumpy', and one 'Dopey' some ten years ago.'

Less than Ultimate Fighting.

"I see that there's an excellent sale on diddly-squat at the Zilchtown Mall in Nowheresville, New Jersey."

"It's a 'get worse soon card' from your ex wife."

'You have no new messages in your mailbox.'

Robot Bombs: A One Time Thing, Right?

You know, I'll always think of the song that's on the Juke box right now as

A man in hospital is exposed to Covid-19