Debt Management Gifts

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

fortune teller and credit card.

"Forget gentlemanly conduct...You've got to get tough on debtors!"

'Thanks, I just know that I'll never be able to repay your kindness . . .'

Missing the Point.

'How about just ONCE, someone robs PAUL to pay ME!?'

"Don't tell me you forgot to pay the marriage bureau, too!!"

Before I consolidate my credit cards, can I pay your fee on this card?

'To be honest, Dan, I feel kind of embarrassed to use an attorney to collect my felinquent accounts. . . So many of them ARE attorneys.'

'I'd like to apply for a credit card. . . I'm tired of my cheques bouncing.'

'Money isn't everything, but my creditors insist on hounding me for it!'

"I told you not to borrow so much pocket money..."

Standard And P****d.

"I don't have the $39,000 I need to pay off my student loans - I don't even have the comma."

Life plan

"Your financial situation was built on a house of cards. Credit cards."

"Hey, my credit score is 271!! - It's a shame I don't even know what a 'credit score' is tho'. . ."

Bank: We accept your soul as collateral security

'50 of the population spends more than they earn. That's where we come in.'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

Abraham Lincoln sends his first bill - Three score dollars and ten.

'You have 17 creditors that won't get paid this month.'

"Any career goals other than paying back your college student loans?"

'Can I help? You bet your bottom dollar I can.'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

As You Like It - Man meets his shoemaker, who he owes money

Financial Advisor. What I have is a conflict of interest - the interest on my mortgage, my car loan, my credit cards.

I'm not worried about taking it with me .. I'd just like it to last until I go.

Student Loan Debt Relief

Balanced Budget

'You have to reconcile your gross habits with your net income.'

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'