Debating Social Norms Gifts

'Believe me, son, she's a much better choice for you than that skinny girl, Cinderella!'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"Instead of singing, I'm going to scream offensive things as loud as I can just to get attention..."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

'... So I said to Dave; 'You're not going to wear that baggy old thing are you?' But, he decided to come nude anyway.'

"OK, I know that this is borderline inappropriate, but just hear me out ..."

"I know it's our first date and we're at this fancy restaurant and all, but would it be a red flag if I ordered the chicken fingers?"

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'We can't serve you the businessman's lunch because you don't look the business type.'

'I want a holiday that will impress the neighbours, which country offers most kudos to the Pound?'

"Everything I know about being human I learned from animals."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

Victorian woman at a bar.

"You've got a tiny piece of ginger in your mustache."

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"Generally, when we go around the table sharing what we're grateful for, we just *say* it, Jerry."

"I feel like such a failure...I'm almost thirty five and I should be on husband number two, and starting my third career choice by now!"

'-and stop saying 'who's carrying who over the threshold?''

"Sorry, these are saved."

'The effects of aging are inevitable. Either accept it, or inject it.'

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Sign Reads: Loiter At Your Own Risk.

"Hey, you can't cut in line like that! - Who do you think you are?"

'I pronounce you Wife and Man...'

"We're going to be late for the awkwardly standing around."

"You mind if I smoke?"

"We've been trying on religion to see if it fits, and it does."

'Just who the heck are you to decide who's naughty or nice? Quit trying to impose your ideas of morality on everyone else!!'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What are they all staring at - have I got two heads or something?'

"You've had to be kind to survive, and I've had to be nasty."