Debates Pillows

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

Tug of pronunciation: 'We say to-may-to...' 'We say to-mah-to...'

'...and on that you have my word.'

When statisticians argue.

Actual Results May Vary

State of the Union...

"The best part is that we got hell to pay for it."

'Personally - I'm against a four-day school week - I'm for a three-day school week. . .'

An election candidate giving contradicting promises.

'Entering Washington, DC. Congressional 'civility' level: undetectable.'

Conference Bingo

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'. . . and nobody noticed the elephant in the room.'

'Debates are great, but what really makes or breaks a candidate is an appearance on 'Saturday Night Live''.

Euthanasia - UK patients go to Switzerland

NRA Ideas

"No animals were killed in the production and testing of our weapons."

'30% liked you, 34% liked your opponent, and 36% were sick of politics.'

Moral Outrage.

"The problem with capitalism is the unequal sharing of wealth. The problem with socialism is the equal sharing of wealth..."

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

Ladies and Gentlemen - Please meet America's public enemy number one!

'We'd like to test the candidates foreign policy competence: How do you spell Guantanamo Bay?'

'We'll set that broken arm in a minute. . . does daddy have any of those mean old guns in the house?'

'I used to be a don't know but now I'm an even more confused.'

Egg tells chicken: 'I was here first.'

ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION, 'All right! -- our Government grant just came through!'

Don't hold back...what do you really think?

'Will you form a coalition with us?'

Libtard University

Aspirations

"What really gets me is that he's always lecturing me on being 'woke'."

Only in a Binary Society is it Impossible to Hate Both Trump and the FBI