Debate Event Pillows

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

"Away with the warmonger!"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

What's normal?

'Do you think that's wise?'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

Political convention

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."