Debate Night Gifts

Holy Moses!

"So, like, I'm just flyin' around, y'know' and I land on this guy's head..." "Dude, you've gone fly-ral!"

Mud Slinging

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"It seems my fear of death has been replaced by my fear of politics."

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

"You owe me five bucks."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'The Questioner'

Difference of Opinion

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Soldier armed with a pen.

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

Trappist Monk Discord

Loan Alley

Cats = Zen, Dogs = Men

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!