Debate Champs Gifts

You Can't Fool All The People...

"My client can't help his verbal obfuscation. He's suffering from straightforwardness dysfunctionality."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Now that's a win."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Information...political rhetoric

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'