Debate Champions Gifts

'Yeah, but would you want to have a beer with him.'

"Helen, I have decided to seek a change of venue, since it has grown increasingly obvious that I can no longer get a fair trial in this household."

I'm fixated on the question of flossing. It's such a valuable metaphor. Why? We, our generation, we're such short-term thinkers. We want immediate gratification. Why would we ever floss? Why take precious, painful seconds? It's not like showering or cleaning up your house. The implications can't be felt immediately. This one's got me tied up, sir! Exactly how I feel about the deficit!!!

'Kings HAVE to be confrontational!'

'The way I see it, deficit spending keeps the taxpayers on their toes.'

BP's Spill Bill

Our Rights

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"Now that's a win."

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

Information...political rhetoric

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

Shouting Fire in a Crowded Theater

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

"It's something new I've been trying. Social scientists call it 'Productive Disagreement.'"

Children arguing over the name of a fish