Death Skeptic Pillows

'Sorry, I've decided not to die.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Alternative Medicine

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Cupid misses his shot.

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"They're very time-sensitive."

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

Coincidence or What?

"I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'