Death Positive Advocate T-Shirts

J. W. Hansen & Co. Funeral Directors-Mortuary

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

Critisize your weight.

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

YOLO vs YODO

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

Aging Problems

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

Girl's weight issues.

Scales

Fat fairy

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

Spiritual Lives Matter