Death Positive Advocate Mugs

J. W. Hansen & Co. Funeral Directors-Mortuary

Death is just a side-effect of living.

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Critisize your weight.

'Amazing! We truly do live in a classless society.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

YOLO vs YODO

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

'I gotta lose some weight.'

'Good grief! Aren't you extinct yet?'

"I really didn't have a weight problem until they invented skinny jeans."

'I did have a tummy-tuck...But I opted for reconstruction surgery at the same time.'

Aging Problems

"When you're healed, I'm going to wear it so I can't see what I weigh."

Hips may appear larger than they actually are.

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'I'm feeling so good, I'm worried I may catch some uplift anxiety.'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

"Give me your metabolism! Now!"

'Good News. Further x-rays revealed the big shadow on your lung to your stomach.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Victoria's secret lovers: Barry, Al, Percy.

'Good grief! Who CARES where our tails begin?'

"I'm pretty sure the middle-aged upper-arm jiggle is the one thing there's not a niche market for."

In the not too distant future... "It's a tribal butterfly tramp stamp, honey. Same as yours."

Scales

Fat fairy

Girl's weight issues.

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

No matter what I do, I still look more like a 'before' picture than an 'after' picture.

'Oh no! You're obviously smaller than me, Joy!' 'You're not fat, 'cause those pants were tight on me too Verl.'