Death Personified Aficionado Pillows

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

"He was a very good boy."

"Call me?"

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Tiny Visions

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Mayhem, Inc. Part 29

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'We've re-branded.'

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Oedipus

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"From this you make a living?"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

Banana Smoothie

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Evil Villain.

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'Meet the Ghost Writer.'

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"