Death Personified Aficionado Pillows

"I'm worried about Junior... all he wants to do is kill things."

"He was a very good boy."

"Call me?"

Tiny Visions

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'I know we're inchworms, but let's get into the spirit of this! Change is good!'

'It's a novel based on a movie adapted from a magazine article that was inspired by a video game.'

'We've re-branded.'

The Reaper's Arms

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"I can't come in today, I'm feeling like myself."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Statue of Liberty and Hand Sanitizer

"From this you make a living?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Oedipus

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Banana Smoothie

Evil Villain.

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'Meet the Ghost Writer.'

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'