Dealing With Traffic Fines Pillows

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

Los Angeles' New Smart Meters

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

'Don't tell me you weren't speeding back there. When you drove by me, all I could see was a blur.'

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

'I can never talk my way out of a ticket. You try.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road, what I know is that you were jay-walking and I'm going to fine you!"

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

Seat Belt Law.

'With these new speed signs keeping traffic moving, we're not getting half the litigation work from accidents that we did before.'

'I'll do the talking.'

'No Sir, it's not a prescription for your 'weird, dizzy turns where everything slows down and you have to go faster to compensate'.'

Man has a lot of unpaid traffic tickets.

UFO at the traffic lights...

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

'How fast? Maybe you had the radar gun upside down and it was an airplane.'

"I got a speeding ticket from my guardian angel."

How many pints have you had, son? Only two, semi-skimmed.

"Oh, yeah, have a Merry Christmas, Santa."

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

"But I have a witness. Here, talk to her yourself."

Inexpensive ways to slow speeders....

"Sire. I fear that we shall have to turn back. He has a hi-vis vest and a road cone."

'Look out - speed camera!'

'This is my finest hour!'

"It's okay if you're not wearing a body camera...I have satellite footage of the entire traffic stop."

Traffic police with stop-sticks mistaken for a bed of nails.

'Say, aren't you the cop who gave me a speeding ticket for going 26 in a 25 mile per hour zone?'

Hand over your license!

'Can you hang on a sec - I'm on the phone.'