Dealing With Traffic Fines Pillows

"Yeah, I know why you pulled me over. But, c'mon. I'm down to half a pack a day and I'm tryin' to quit."

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

'Did you drop this £20 note, Sir?' 'Ooh, YES!' 'That will be a £50 fine.'

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

"I don't care why you crossed the road, what I know is that you were jay-walking and I'm going to fine you!"

'I can never talk my way out of a ticket. You try.'

'Speeding? Of course I was speeding! I have to make over a billion deliveries in one night!'

Seat Belt Law.

'With these new speed signs keeping traffic moving, we're not getting half the litigation work from accidents that we did before.'

"I don't care how it works where you come from....on this planet, the designated driver is the one who 'doesn't' drive!"

UFO at the traffic lights...

'No Sir, it's not a prescription for your 'weird, dizzy turns where everything slows down and you have to go faster to compensate'.'

'I'll do the talking.'

How many pints have you had, son? Only two, semi-skimmed.

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

'How fast? Maybe you had the radar gun upside down and it was an airplane.'

"Oh, yeah, have a Merry Christmas, Santa."

"You know... these speed camera shots are the only photos we have of that car."

"I got a speeding ticket from my guardian angel."

"But I have a witness. Here, talk to her yourself."

Inexpensive ways to slow speeders....

"Sire. I fear that we shall have to turn back. He has a hi-vis vest and a road cone."

'Look out - speed camera!'

'Can you hang on a sec - I'm on the phone.'

'This is my finest hour!'

Speed Limit 186,000 miles per second.

"It's okay if you're not wearing a body camera...I have satellite footage of the entire traffic stop."

'Say, aren't you the cop who gave me a speeding ticket for going 26 in a 25 mile per hour zone?'

Traffic police with stop-sticks mistaken for a bed of nails.

Hand over your license!