Dealing With A Landlord Pillows

The fourth little pig

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'No ice.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'I know it's gassy...'

Shaken not stirred

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"Just water for me, please."

Barman In Love.

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

"What'll ya have?"

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

"I rented out the basement."

'What happened to your hand.'