Dealing With A Landlord Mugs

The fourth little pig

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'Think I preferred the old Irish barman.'

'No ice.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

'I know it's gassy...'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

Shaken not stirred

Best Before 5th Pint.

"How was my day? I'm still calculating the little victories minus the humiliations I normally suffer."

'Why would anyone order a pint of stoat?'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'We get our draft straight from the brewery.'

"My path to success and fortune was that rather than foraging and storing my own food, I built a portfolio of storage properties to rent..."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

'Okay then, what's the price break on TWENTY drinks?'

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

Barman In Love.

"Just water for me, please."

"Every night the same gets legless, swearin 'n' fightin' then slumps into a stupor. . ."

'No need for pump action, Al - it's the wife.'

'Bartender...There's soap in my beer glass!' - Man farting bubbles.

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

"You're looking a bit RUFF this morning."

'What happened to your hand.'

"I rented out the basement."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'