Deafness Awareness Advocate Gifts

Noah mishears God and builds a Lark instead of an Ark.

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

Clubbing

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

This week is obscure charity awareness week.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'I'm getting a head start for Movember.'

Bubbling

'You're not listening to what you're hearing.'

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

Sewer Rats

National #@*&%!$@? Tourettes Institute *&%!$

Lost Man, brown hair, white cane.

"No the you shop noise doesn't bother me. This protects me from the incessant Christmas music."

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

"Aunt Mary, I think you may not have heard me right. I requested a bundt cake."

"He's not my dog, he's my partner."

One of the three blind mice

Why rhinos are not used as helper animals.

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

Opium Den 2019

'I'm really beginning to feel my age, Lou. Irene used the can opener today and I didn't even hear it.'

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

Prostate Issues

Guide dog reading paper over a man's shoulder.

Well, someone's gotta tell him he's adopted.

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.