Dating Tales Gifts

"You lead such an interesting life. I've never been called to testify before a Congressional Banking Committee."

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

In Desperate Straits.

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

"I've appeared in Eastenders."

'Crabs, sharks, octopi...'

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'

"You've been really interesting ever since we got through your origin story."

'Hey! That's some facial cover-up job!'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

Anne didn't see the relationship as being over....

The world's most uncomfortable guy on his first day at work. 'This company is run by all my ex-girlfriends.'

"I didn't put this in my personal ad, but I'm synonymous with Belgian cuisine."

"So how was your date with Smiley?"

Robo-Date Dating Service. We'll have to fix you up before we can fix you up.

"Well, I'm sort of between quests at the moment."

Earlier that day. Cheapskate Ernie bought discounted love potion 8.

"My blind date?! Oh, he was Arabian alright, but he was a camel..."

'Like I said in my ad - GSOH.'

'The date didn't go too well. I should have taken her to a place that had more challenging placemats.'

The only time sparks flew on my date with this guy was when the muffler shook loose from his junky car.

We don't want to see your pull-down menu

"Rudy, I went out on a date last night. It was a miserable failure." "Sorry." "As my employee, you've seen me day in and day out. You know me better than anyone." "Rudy, do I, your boss and sole source of income, have some personality flaw?" "Or did the fault lie entirely with my date?" "Feel free to speak candidly." "Mother."

"It's the unibrow, isn't it?"

"I like that you refuse to be defined by your generation."

"Public display of rejection"

"Oh, it's feeding time in Egoville?"

'My blind date describes himself as a product of the 70's. I hope I recognize him.'

'I don't think of you as a sex object, Irene -- I think of you as two sex objects!'

Bar. You're back. That was a short date. She asked what my favorite indie films was and I said "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

'You'd think you guys never saw a baby before!'

'I met him through a chatline website - he's a computer error.'